Don’t Wait to Take a Break

Being Me… means sometimes feeling like I’m losing my mind!! Or want to come crawling out of my skin! Or both… or that and a few other things thrown in on top! Lol…

But for real… there are days like that. Today was one of those days. I kept seeing the beautiful sunshine outside and wishing I could be outside in it! I made some phone calls… engaging enough to keep my attention, but as soon as I started to do paperwork I found that I could not focus. Eventually, I found myself beginning to say “I can’t do this any more.”

Well, I know I don’t want to be throwing in the towel on everything … don’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water … I mean, I finally have the practice set up the way I want it and am doing what I have been dreaming of doing. But, the feeling was all too real.

So, rather than continuing to pressure myself to do the paperwork because “I have to” or because “its so easy”… (statements to be reviewed and torn down another day/time)… I just gave myself permission to go out into the sun for a little bit of time. I still value my client’s time, so I wanted to be back in time for my next session, but also value my own needs and wanted to validate them by giving them a voice and letting them know that they were heard.

A fifteen minute walk may have not been exactly what my body is craving or calling for, but it seems to have been enough to release the tension that was building. Because upon my return to the office… I no longer felt like getting in the car and starting to drive with no destination in mind and no idea when… or if… I would return.

So, today’s Being My True Self lesson… take my own advice and don’t wait until I need a break to take a break… and go outside, if that’s what I want to do… And, further more, don’t wait for other people to do it with me, just do what I think I need to do for myself… And trust that once I do, I will find exactly what I need.

I once again feel ready to do what I love doing. Now… to figure out how to marry the two… maybe a place where I can be outside AND do what I love doing?! That sounds perfect! Looks to me like Being My True Self means counseling clients on the beach under a sunny sky! I’m in!!

Permanent… Not

We get stuck on the idea. That what we have here is permanent. It is what creates all of our issues…. And I do mean ALL. From our looks or our minds to our possessions and relationships. Everything from natural things such as trees to man-made things such as buildings.

However, think about all the things in your life… is anything really permanent? No. They aren’t. And they aren’t meant to be permanent. And many things we wouldn’t want to be permanent, but other things we would like to be permanent… at least we think we would like them to be.

I mean, how many times in your life did something wonderful come out of something we call horrible? How many times would it have not been possible for that wonderful thing to exist if that horrible thing hadn’t happened?

Nature knows what it is doing. Think of the trees in the vast forests that’s seeds can’t grow unless they are burned in a fire. Forest fires serve a purpose, many, actually. And the only reason we think of them as bad is because our structures get caught up in them sometimes. This too, however, is part of what is supposed to happen… it simply is what happens when you live close enough to a forest that catches on fire because lightning struck a tree… And it is neither good nor bad… it just is.

So, if we apply this to relationships in our lives or to people… its gets a little harder to see it the same way. But, it works the same. I experience relationships and they last as long as they last. They end when they end, whatever the reason…

I mean, I can have wonderful experiences… like eating a sweet and slightly tart blackberry, but it won’t last forever and not every blackberry is going to taste the same… so… what do I do? Never eat a blackberry again because I’m worried that it won’t taste the same next time? Because it might taste awful? So what? What if it tastes even better? Many people don’t think of this side of this idea… Imagine what you are missing out on because you were afraid to try it and see?

Either way, it simply is what it is… and if we can think of it that way… well, then there isn’t any worry or anxiety or strife or stress. Because then each and every experience that we have would just be what it was and as soon as it passes we can move on to the next thing. Which brings up another common thing that happens… if I move on too easily that must mean that the last experience didn’t mean anything to me…

First of all, this simply isn’t true. However, if we look at this concept by itself… or rather expand on the last notion… moving on… If I am not worrying or stressing about any experiences as they occur that means that I am fully present with the experience as it is happening… what better way to honor the experience or the person? And if I am fully present, honoring the experience in the moment, then I can move on to the next moment (knowing that I have done what I can to fully experience the last one) and be ready to fully experience and be with the next experience.

Imagine what this way of seeing life would do for our relationships? I would appreciate people in my life for who they are… not for who they were yesterday or ten years ago, but for who they are today… in this moment. And then I could move on to the next experience making a choice about that next experience based on the last one… which may mean that the next experience is with a different person, in a different place, doing a different thing… How beautiful is that?

Think about how that would change the world if we all thought this way? We could think and believe different things… and that would be ok. No one would think their race, gender, religion, way of living, etc was any better than anyone else’s…

Being My True Self means that I appreciate every experience that I have, every encounter I have with people, every relationship, without taking it for granted because I understand that nothing is permanent and that the only moment I am guaranteed to have, is the one I’m in right now.

Regret?

I don’t like that word… Its hard to, when you can see the bigger picture. When you can see how things go together, like jigsaw puzzle pieces… How integral one piece is to the one next to it… How one doesn’t exist without the existence of all those around it.

I have no regrets. There have been awful things happen in my life. Some might even say that I’ve done awful things… I am certainly not innocent with regard to that. There are things that I didn’t like over the years. But, when I look at those things, I do not regret them because I can see beyond them. I can see how the awful things had to happen before the beautiful things could happen. That in some cases, without the awful thing, the beautiful thing wouldn’t have come about at all.

So, I don’t call those things regrets… Yet, without that word… what does one call this feeling… or sense. Its a deep feeling. Comes from a place of Love, I believe… But not the trite or trivial love that we think about. This is that soulful Love that one feels for another soul at a soul level.

So, if I believed in the word regret… I would regret this… I would regret that I didn’t do the things needed to let the people I care most about in this world know that I care about them more than anything else in the world. That my Love for them goes deeper than they can possibly imagine…. deeper than is even possible for a human being to express with human words.

And even as I say that with tears streaming down my face… I know that there is a reason for it. That it is necessary in the grand scheme of things. And in most moments… this is enough to offer some relief from the pain that this knowledge brings… But for those other moments… it is not enough… And that’s ok too.

Being My True Self means I have those moments when it hurts to play the part… to do what I can now, to let them know that they are important to me… in the best way I know how which gets better every day as I learn more and more about Being My True Self and standing in my own truth… shining my light…

I’m Good At What I Do

God it feels weird to say that “out loud”!!! I mean, I believe it, it is just that there is a part of me that says that it is not ok to say it out loud or really, to even think it.

Somehow or other I got it in my mind that it is not ok to “toot my own horn”. That it is bragging to say something like that. Or arrogant. But, those labels don’t really fit me… in any way, shape, or form.

Actually, to say that, even in my own head, feels very right to me… Almost like I’m owning something that is mine. And it always has been mine, I just couldn’t see it.

I’ve had people over the years give me praise for what I do or various things I would do, but it always took me by surprise. I would look at them with a quizzical look as I’m saying to myself, “They must be talking about someone else.” Or, “Wow… really?”

So, to be able to step into… completely into the role and own it… I must say, feels Amazing!! Feels empowering!! I think that it is because it is what my soul came to do. And is doing it! And when I’m doing it… my soul, My True Self, just sings with the joy and the gratitude of it all!

To get to go into work and do something that feels so fulfilling… on so many different levels… is a blessing and I am immensely grateful! Stepping into the shoes of My True Self… Being My True Self in every realm of my life feels wonderful! I am also grateful for all the people that I work with… for valuing who I am and what I do and allowing me to be a part of their journey… Thank you