Being Me… means sometimes feeling like I’m losing my mind!! Or want to come crawling out of my skin! Or both… or that and a few other things thrown in on top! Lol…
But for real… there are days like that. Today was one of those days. I kept seeing the beautiful sunshine outside and wishing I could be outside in it! I made some phone calls… engaging enough to keep my attention, but as soon as I started to do paperwork I found that I could not focus. Eventually, I found myself beginning to say “I can’t do this any more.”
Well, I know I don’t want to be throwing in the towel on everything … don’t want to throw the baby out with the bath water … I mean, I finally have the practice set up the way I want it and am doing what I have been dreaming of doing. But, the feeling was all too real.
So, rather than continuing to pressure myself to do the paperwork because “I have to” or because “its so easy”… (statements to be reviewed and torn down another day/time)… I just gave myself permission to go out into the sun for a little bit of time. I still value my client’s time, so I wanted to be back in time for my next session, but also value my own needs and wanted to validate them by giving them a voice and letting them know that they were heard.
A fifteen minute walk may have not been exactly what my body is craving or calling for, but it seems to have been enough to release the tension that was building. Because upon my return to the office… I no longer felt like getting in the car and starting to drive with no destination in mind and no idea when… or if… I would return.
So, today’s Being My True Self lesson… take my own advice and don’t wait until I need a break to take a break… and go outside, if that’s what I want to do… And, further more, don’t wait for other people to do it with me, just do what I think I need to do for myself… And trust that once I do, I will find exactly what I need.
I once again feel ready to do what I love doing. Now… to figure out how to marry the two… maybe a place where I can be outside AND do what I love doing?! That sounds perfect! Looks to me like Being My True Self means counseling clients on the beach under a sunny sky! I’m in!!