Identities

Identities are an ever present concept… as with many things, it has positive and negative connotations to its meaning. My intention is to refer to it in a positive way here.

Identities are simply ways that we identify ourselves. We have different ones, because we can be identified in different ways depending on the perspective one takes. I want to make sure to distinguish it from roles. While we may play a role or an identity may represent a role we take on in our lives… I think of them as different… maybe in part because of the stereotyped roles that we often think of in our society…

So, when I speak of identities here, I am not talking about stereotyped roles that we fall into or stay in because we feel like we don’t have a choice or don’t recognize that is what we are doing. These identities, to me, are conscious and purposeful choices we make about how to define ourselves… a framework, so to speak.

Ultimately they are frameworks so they are malleable… flexible. That makes sense though, doesn’t it? Because as I learn and grow as a person… as a soul, even… it will be necessary that my identity be able to change and evolve with me. Letting go of the hierarchy nature of such concepts… its not about better or worse… its about different, changing, evolving. And even though evolving can have somewhat of a comparative sense to it, I challenge you to think of it as more fluid than that… as moving around in 5D space rather than on some line… and even a continuum is still linear in nature.

The thing I find myself wrestling with today with regard to identities is how difficult it can be to change them when its called for… I mean, now that I say all that I have said about them, it seems kind of silly (even to me) to be saying this… but grant me some grace here… this is a flashback of sorts and the writing of this is the fleshing out of the idea or notion that started this whole thing!! Which, honestly, began as a rather heart wrenching experience for my human self and a soul searching/exploring one for my higher/True Self…

As people, we get stuck on an identity… we are reluctant to let go of it. Many times the identity was a hard won identity in the first place and we don’t want to “lose” it. I think, other times, it is more simply that we don’t realize we are holding on so tightly to something and its because we are afraid that if we let go of that identity… we won’t know who we are any more….

But in either case… what’s so bad about that? I mean, if it was a hard won identity… that’s fine. Letting go of it to move on to a new identity does not negate the fact that we obtained the accomplishment of achieving that identity in the first place. And in the latter case… so what if I don’t know who I am in the moment. In fact… that’s kind of a beautiful thing in and of itself. I mean, it means that I am evolving into something new with endless possibilities!

When we hold on to an identity out of fear, we limit the universe’s potential for us. As I evolve… at each stage, I can only compare where I am to where I have been… because I don’t know anything else, so, of course, where I am feels like the best or the ultimate. But there is always something else to evolve into and because we can’t possibly come close to imaging the universes possibilities, we severely limit ourselves when we hold on just because its the best we can imagine.

Even when the place we are doesn’t “feel” great… it doesn’t mean that its not evolution. Even when I am feeling “horrible”, its a different kind of “horrible” than I felt like before, because I’m in a new place myself, because I know more. If I am feeling more pain at a loss, its because I have since experienced more love and/or joy since the last loss that I experienced. That is something to be thankful for and to honor as growth/evolution.

So, today, Being My True Self means honoring ever-evolving identities, letting go of current ones to make way for new ones… that are bigger and brighter and more beautiful than I could have ever imagined for myself.

Love and Light to my fellow evolutionary Beings!

Be Together, Not the Same

Ok, so its not my saying, I just saw it on a commercial… one of the cell phone companies… but it was cute and relevant. A rock, a piece of paper, and a pair of scissors… the paper is being bullied by scissors until a pair of scissors befriends him then they come upon more paper bullying a rock of whom the scissors is afraid of and the paper befriends the rock… the three of them go off down the street together…. even though they aren’t the same.

Just brings to mind this idea of accepting each other as we are. We each have our own strengths and talents that we bring to the table. Which is a good thing. I mean, if we all had the same talents and abilities… well… it would be boring, but it also wouldn’t make much sense.

I mean, I came here to work on different things than other people, so how could it possibly look the same. Even if I am working on a similar thing, my experiences are going to be different, so its still going to look different.

Why can’t more people accept that we are supposed to be different and appreciate each other for what we are and what we do? I have spent my life feeling like I am not acceptable for being or looking or feeling the way that I am… whatever that might be at any given moment. There is always someone out there ready, willing, and able to tell me how I am supposed to be, what is right… As if they know what is better for me than I do. As if there is only one way to do … anything.

It is possible to acknowledge and celebrate the differences between us. Even if I do not want to spend time with someone because of our differences, does not mean that I can not appreciate someone else’s journey.

Tonight Being My True Self means recognizing and celebrating my own uniqueness… owning my own special  talents and gifts for what they are… what makes me, Me! Thank you for Being You and sharing this time and space with Me!

Stress… Being Weird and Ungrateful?

I’m stressed and I don’t know why… well, that isn’t completely true. I know why, but it doesn’t seem like its “ok” to be stressed about what I’m stressed about. I know… isn’t that odd to say?! But think about it? How often does that happen?

I hear myself and others say “I am stressed” and then follow it with “but I don’t know why…” Like, “I don’t know why I’m so stressed, I have a beautiful house, a great husband/wife/partner, a job I always wanted….” or “its not like I have a hard job” or “I don’t have kids… or I only have one child… or I only have _____ children and don’t have to work outside the home…”

How many times do you hear someone say “I’m stressed about x, y, or z” and then you hear someone else (or that same person) then say, “well, at least you/I don’t have _________, like so-and-so.” As if to say that because my circumstances are different than someone else’s, I can’t be stressed…

I mean, first off, I know that there are millions of people in the world that have circumstances worse than mine. Being stressed about my circumstances doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate what I have and it doesn’t mean that I am minimizing those other people’s circumstances either. It simply means that I’m fucking stressed!

Its not helpful to tell myself or someone else that it isn’t ok or cool to be stressed about what they are stressed about. Because, frankly, they are already stressed! Its a done deal at that point, what the good does it do to tell them they shouldn’t be… (and ‘should’ shows up in the picture, of course, we knew it would)…. what’s helpful at that point is to figure out what they are stressed about.

I mean, we do get stressed about things that don’t make sense to be stressed about and often that means we are thinking or considering things that aren’t real in the first place. So, its helpful to explore what we are stressed about, so we can get rid of those things… if for no other reason than to save that energy for something that is real to stress about. But this is hard to do when you get the impression, either from yourself or from someone else, that its not ok to be stressed.

So, I’m stressed because I don’t get to be outside in the sunshine. I can hear some of you right now looking at me funny… But, the struggle is real. I love… and I do mean love what I do… its my life’s work and my calling. But it means I am inside, rain or shine, and its really hard for me to be inside when I am craving sunshine. And I do crave sunshine, I have a very basic need for it, and living in Ohio… I don’t get enough of it (enough being defined by my own need for it, not some universal measure)… So, when the sun is shining, especially in the spring after long gray winters, I just want to be outside… I happily mow the grass so that I can be outside doing something.

So, even though I love my work, I struggle to be in my office when the sun is shining. This being said, I have sat with the feeling and explored it enough to know that when I’m with clients doing what I’m passionate about, I don’t notice this need. But as soon as I sit down to do paperwork or some other mundane task that is required of me in order to maintain the license that allows me to do what I do… I suddenly can’t sit still, can’t stand to be inside a minute longer.

So, what does this mean about Being My True Self?… this means revamping my work schedule. Another reason that I do what I do. Traditional work hours don’t work for me… I figured that out and accepted it a long time ago. So, I’m looking at my work schedule to figure out how I can do what I love doing while also honoring that part of me that needs to be outside in the sunshine when the sun is out… In Ohio, that means leaving the option open because in Ohio you can’t count on it being there just on the weekends or on your days off.

Today… Being My True Self means honoring who I am and my needs, even when they look different than everyone else’s and everyone else looks at me like I’m weird and ungrateful.