6am Workout

6am workout… WHAT?!?! If you had told me a month ago that I would be getting up to work out at 6am, I would have told you were insane, let alone look forward to it.

So at 8am, I sit writing this, following my 6am workout. And I am reflecting on how I got here…

When I was in my 20s, I worked out often, but I was never devoted to it as a way of life or anything. Then at some point in my life, it stopped being something I could do. I say it that way because I wanted to do it, but I just wasn’t able. Then it became something i wanted to want to do… but just didn’t want to do it any more. I always did prefer activity over exercise as a way of moving my body, but it changed.

I know that my body wasn’t healthy. And hasn’t been for decades… I know this now, I didn’t realize it at the time. After years of research and listening to my body and what it wanted and needed, I am feeling better than I have … maybe my entire life!

It’s only the second workout, but I can say today that I was looking forward to my workout this morning. And when the alarm went off at 530am, I didn’t want to throw it… I welcomed it. I can say that I know its different because of this mindset shift.

I have heard so many trainers (well meaning, no offense intended, most are amazing people) say something like “just decide to get up and do it”, “just change”… It is not that simple. Because I wanted things to be different for so many years. I remember telling people before something like “I thought about working out today” and even though they looked at me like that was not a big deal, I knew it was huge. Because it meant that my body was considering it, whereas the days prior to that, it had definitely not thought about it, let alone considered it.

At this point, I know my body very well. How? Because I have learned to listen to it. I have learned to not question it (most of the time, there are still times when I doubt and it will show me every time why it is the ultimate authority).

How did I get to where I look forward to a 6am workout and am reclaiming my mornings? First off, start listening to your body. Yes, you have a job. Ok. Maybe you don’t like it very well. That’s ok… for now. Keep doing that, but when you get home… when you walk in the door when you get home, ask this question, “what do I need right now?” And listen to the answer. When I started doing this, the answer was “take a nap”… for months!! I began to wonder if I was just being lazy, but there was some deep part of me that just knew that that wasn’t it. I needed the rest. As a single mother of four kids, there was always lots to do. And I was constantly giving and doing for others. Is it really so hard to believe that when I finally stopped and asked the question “what do I need right now?”, that the answer is to take a nap?! So, I did. I took a nap or watched a favorite tv show or played a video game or read a book. It literally was a year before the answer, one Saturday afternoon, was “let’s mow the grass”…. what?!?! I was amazed and I still remember that moment like it was yesterday.

That was several years ago now and I still had some full time parenting years left that kept me on my toes and continuing to give a lot, so the pattern remained the same. I was also still not healthy, not quite sick, although if I had allowed myself to get into the western medicine system, I know I would have come out with some major, chronic diagnosis. It was during this time that I started looking at what I was putting in my body. Started supplements and different diets and such. Researched… a lot. I figured out that dairy didn’t work well in my body and started limited it and finally getting rid of it. Same with caffeine, although got rid of that completely. Then, 1.5 years ago I gave up nightshades, 1 year ago gluten, and about 9 months ago I started a raw food diet that has completely changed my life. I started feeling healthy for the first time since… I can remember! With my system completely cleaned out, I was able to really tell how foods affect me, physically and mentally and emotionally. Once again, I listened to my body. I listen to what it wants and when I’m feeding it actual foods and not just food-like substances and making sure it has the nutrients it needs…. I feel amazing!

Which brings me to today! And a 6am-fucking-workout! I really am quite excited about it. And to be sitting here at 8am writing about it, on my bed, but not in it! My body is obviously able to handle it, was ready for it and craving it. I just can’t express here just how excited I am to feel this much vitality in my body!

Today… Being My True Self means a 6am workout and honoring my body and what it needs and not forcing myself to do anything that goes against that!

Wrecking Balls

Wrecking balls. Ever feel like you keep getting knocked over… seemingly every step you take? You get up, just to get knocked over again? And not just tipped over or ever pushed over, but wrecking ball knocked off your feet, over?

Well, I have felt this way. Often, actually. I’ve worked really hard in my life to learn to manage this. And I think I’m done a pretty fantastic job of it, too.

In fact, I don’t even see these things as wrecking balls any more. They are simply events that we, as humans, have decided are really catastrophic… like super awful. I learned a long time ago that every event in my life has had a purpose and does have a purpose, including these ones I’m referring to now.

I also believe that what is, is. In other words, what is happening is already happening… I mean literally the moment something happens it becomes history, so… not changing that. So, what is, is. I’ve learned to accept that and just kind of move on, even in the moment (I’m getting much better at this).

I also believe in the power of positive thinking. Not the “blowing smoke” kind of fairies and pixie dust kind of positive thinking, but looking for the positive aspects of things and situations. Because I believe there is a positive side to everything.

But, I heard something recently that got me to thinking about this all in a different way… basically putting it all together. I really can choose to be happy. I’ve noticed recently that when I tune into what I want to be true for my life, I will spontaneously smile. Like an authentic smile, not some fake, plastered on curving of my lips, but a real smile… sometimes a smirk or that little kind off smile you reserve for those cute, endearing kinds of things.

Anyways, this is shifting how I experience the world. And its helping me get in touch with what I really want in my life. I want to laugh so hard I’m afraid I’ll pee myself. I want to skip around outside. I want to snuggle up and feel a loved ones envelope me. I want to be of service in a big way. I want to share my gifts with the world! I want life to be simple. I want to interact with people on a regular basis that excite me, that challenge me to be a better person, that respect me, all of me. I want my body to feel alive again!!!

Today… Being My True Self means living with a passion that I have deep in my body… tapping into my soul’s zest for having a human experience… whatever that is and not labeling it as either good or bad. And doing it with a smile on my face.