Mornings have always been difficult for me. I’ve always said “I’m not a morning person, I’m a night owl.” And this in general is true. But why?
When I think about mornings… There is simply a sense of dread almost. A sense of doom, like something is hanging over my head. And it doesn’t seem to matter how I approach it.. And believe me, I know my cognitive reframing!!
Then when I think about nights… There is a sense of not wanting to let go of the day… Like I didn’t get out of it what I wanted to get out of it and I want to hang onto it as long as possible… Which is kind of crazy when I think about it, because this is true whether it was a particularly “good” day or particularly “bad” day.
At times I have thought it was because it was cold… But I do it in the summer when it’s hot. Or because I was or was not sleeping with someone beside me, but again, it doesn’t seem to matter.
The only time it seems to be different is when I am particularly looking forward to something. Like Christmas morning when I was younger or the day I leave for vacation or have a special event. But even then, it has to be something I’m super excited about and then I don’t typically Sleep well the night before.
Insomnia… That’s another whole aspect of this… And maybe that’s where the issue lies… In simple biology, physiology. When the body doesn’t have what it needs to have to function properly, we can’t get to sleep and when we can’t get to sleep then the body is not ready to wake up “on time”. … Aha! There it is! The should that counters the body’s and the soul’s needs!!! I “have to” get up at this time regardless of how rested and rejuvenated I feel. And by extension, I “have to” go to sleep by a certain time, regardless of whether I am tired or not.
I have noticed that I function much better when I am allowed to just do what feels right to my body in the moment. When I wake up when I’m ready to and get moving at a pace that feels right to me, doing the things that nourish my body, mind, and spirit. Then going through my day with intention and purpose. Ending the day feeling like I LIVED rather than DID!! Starting and beginning my day Being My True Self means plenty of time to start my day the way that works for me and not the way society says I “should”!!!