Those times and places that seem so unreal that they can’t be real… can they? Surely not… these things don’t happen in real life, do they? To real people? I mean shit like this only happens in the Twilight Zone… right? (For those too young to know what I am referring to… Google it 😉 . )
When your world turns upside down.. and everything you thought you knew … everything you had come to depend on to be real, to be there, is taken away from you… it can feel so out of this world that, at least to me, it feels like an episode of the old tv show, Twilight Zone, where everything is unbelievable.
You wake up one day and everything you thought you knew about people is changed, gone, like it wasn’t even there… well, not all people. But when its people that you thought you could count on or trust and then you find out something different, it can be quite jarring… no, it can be unsettling, like an earthquake… the whole foundation that you were standing on is no longer stable or has completely gone out from under you.
So… what do you do when that happens?!
It is easy to get caught up in the emotion of it. And its important to experience and feel the emotion, for sure… allow yourself to experience it, in that moment it is your reality. You can’t run from it because it isn’t going anywhere. And running away or attempting to evade it just compounds things. Allow yourself to feel it and express it. When expressing it, be careful… choose safe support people to express it to and do it a little at a time. Let someone hold your hand or give you a hug, if you are up for that… And if you aren’t up for that, then close yourself away if you need to, but don’t avoid or run away completely… reach out with a phone call or a text even. Do this until you feel like you can take a breath without your chest wanting to explode.
I can’t stress how important it is to reach out to your support network. Reach out in multiple directions, to multiple people, in multiple ways. These are times when you need as much support and love as you can find in your world. They will all have different ways of supporting you and different words of wisdom for you based on your relationship with them and their own experiences and personality types. There is a reason the people in our lives are in our lives.
Another important part of this process of reaching out to those you love and trust, who love and trust you, is to remind yourself that there are good people in the world. If not it is really easy to slip into hating the world … and everyone in it… and never trusting again.
During and after this process, make sure you focus on taking care of yourself. And once you can breathe again, do something that makes you feel better. Give yourself something to focus on. It should be something that can grab your attention enough to distract you… I know this can be difficult… difficult to focus, so don’t make it something that requires 100% of your attention and focus, that can be frustrating. This process helps to quiet the mind and allow the emotion to dissipate… and for your being to integrate the new reality.
Of course, this will be different for everyone… Because when we are being true to our selves and who we are, we will require different things to focus on to achieve the same outcome… this is determined by our different life experiences … Our souls will require different things and will have different paths.
And when you come out of this time of quieting the mind and emotions… when you are able to begin to think about the events again… its ok to cry, to experience the emotion again… and if its still intense then keep repeating the previous steps until you are able to sit with the experience without the emotion taking over.
At this point, reconnect intentionally with your soul, your true self, and your soul’s purpose. This will remind you that there is only Love… this will remind you that there is a higher purpose to everything… and that each of our paths is different… yet intertwined at the same time. This does not mean that you have to walk back into the situation where you were mistreated… its ok to integrate the experience and leave it behind. But, at the same time, you can send Love to those that mistreated you and wish them well on their path… Perhaps this was the intended journey in the first place and things had to come to pass in this way in order for us to walk away and pursue our own path…
In other words, get back in touch with Being Your True Self and see the situation from your True Self’s perspective and the betrayals and losses will fall away… will take on a new meaning. And you will once again be able to step back onto your True path.
In Light and Love… Danielle