Regret?

I don’t like that word… Its hard to, when you can see the bigger picture. When you can see how things go together, like jigsaw puzzle pieces… How integral one piece is to the one next to it… How one doesn’t exist without the existence of all those around it.

I have no regrets. There have been awful things happen in my life. Some might even say that I’ve done awful things… I am certainly not innocent with regard to that. There are things that I didn’t like over the years. But, when I look at those things, I do not regret them because I can see beyond them. I can see how the awful things had to happen before the beautiful things could happen. That in some cases, without the awful thing, the beautiful thing wouldn’t have come about at all.

So, I don’t call those things regrets… Yet, without that word… what does one call this feeling… or sense. Its a deep feeling. Comes from a place of Love, I believe… But not the trite or trivial love that we think about. This is that soulful Love that one feels for another soul at a soul level.

So, if I believed in the word regret… I would regret this… I would regret that I didn’t do the things needed to let the people I care most about in this world know that I care about them more than anything else in the world. That my Love for them goes deeper than they can possibly imagine…. deeper than is even possible for a human being to express with human words.

And even as I say that with tears streaming down my face… I know that there is a reason for it. That it is necessary in the grand scheme of things. And in most moments… this is enough to offer some relief from the pain that this knowledge brings… But for those other moments… it is not enough… And that’s ok too.

Being My True Self means I have those moments when it hurts to play the part… to do what I can now, to let them know that they are important to me… in the best way I know how which gets better every day as I learn more and more about Being My True Self and standing in my own truth… shining my light…

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Danielle

I am on a journey .... By title I am a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor. I have been called friend, girlfriend, wife, mom... among other labels. But I am a loving, caring being that lives through these labels and titles to help and heal others while I am here.

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