The idea of acceptance came to my mind the other day. I’d actually forgotten about it, but found my recording of my thoughts when I was driving one day, probably to the office.
I was thinking about the people around me. I have often, over my lifetime, struggled with being accepted by others, feeling like I fit in. As I reflect, it seems as though there was always some reason why I didn’t fit it, whether it was in elementary school or in a professional setting in my life now. *literally Lol* It was always because I was “too” something and the something wasn’t even always a negative thing… isn’t that ridiculous?! Not being accepted because you’re too good at something?!
Anyway… There is a difference between being accepted as being different and being accepted as you are.
With the former, you’re not really accepted…. people just say they aren’t judging you… but they don’t really accept you… they’ll tolerate you… they don’t run you out of town… they are not necessarily gonna require meetings in dark alleys and shadowy places… but they don’t openly say that they accept you, not to other people. The toleraters.
Whereas when you are fully accepted for who you are… those people welcome those parts of you that are “different”. In fact, its because of those parts that they want to talk to you, that they want to get to know you, that they want to hang out with you. The accepters.
It’s fine, walking into a group of toleraters. When you are being your true self, when you are anchored in your true self, you can walk into those environments and you can be confident. And I think that confidence allows the toleraters who would normally be afraid, because you are different, to actually be able to have a conversation with you or be open to what you have to say. But its a completely different feeling than being able to walk in, being accepted, as who you are. That’s a feeling of coming home, that’s a feeling of comfort. You don’t have to have any kind of guard up for that. That’s when the guard can come down. Cause even when you walk into a group of toleraters and you’re confident and you’re sure in your true self, there is a part of you that is on guard… And that’s exhausting.
Accepting ourselves is a huge part of the process of being our true self, there is no doubt about that. But, we need an environment that allows that to flourish… allows it to come out of hiding… to gain strength. Having people in our life that support that, that hold space for us to grow, and even help build it is wonderful! But if the people in our lives are doing the opposite or are just accepting us as “different”, we’re better off without them… no matter who they are…. even if that means we do it by ourselves for a time. That’s ok, its temporary… because as we become stronger in the knowing and the being of our true self, we will start to attract accepters!
Who in your life is holding space for you to grow? Who is supporting you in being your true self?!