I am in tears at the moment… no worries, everything is alright. In fact, they are perfect. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my life and the people in it!
I did an event last night… It felt to me, before it happened, that it would be a game changer. I had pictured one kind thing in my mind. It did not go the way I imagined though… not at all. I imagined that I would be admired and seen as a leader, receiving adoration from my admirers…. We think so small as humans… but, in our defense, we can only imagine what we have knowledge of before hand… I mean, I can not know what I do not know.
What actually happened is so much bigger and better than that! There were people at the event that challenged me and disagreed with me. And it went so far as being told that I was saying something else entirely… all done very respectfully, I will add, but at the same time, because I’m different… because I’m poly. Suggesting that because I am different, I need to proclaim that loudly enough so that unknowing folks won’t walk into an event unawares that I’m different than they!!
Now some of this is my own emotional reaction to being judged… I’ve had plenty of experience with it and I acknowledge that. But, honestly, I’ve looked at this from all perspectives and had others look at it also. I did not include that I am poly in the description of the event because it was not relevant to the topic… it is simply my story. The event was about relationships… how to have a healthy relationship… period. Any kind of relationship, really, it is intended to be inclusive. It is intended to be a safe place for everyone to share their experience of relationship and their relationship challenges, regardless of how a person identifies… including me.
Which brings me to why I am in tears of gratitude! I reached out to several friends… and with their loving and supportive assistance, I was able to see that I Did Exactly That! And that I am truly doing exactly what I came to do in this lifetime! I have known for a long time that my life’s challenges had a purpose and that I was meant to use them to help people. Well, fellow humans… here it is!!!
I bare my soul about my relationship challenges and experiences BECAUSE they are different and taboo and sucked figuring them out at times, so that others can learn from them. So others can feel safe exploring and talking about being different when it comes to relationships. And not because they are different in the same way that I am different… that becomes too easy too… its about being accepting of how we are different. It’s about celebrating those differences! About allowing ourselves to learn from those that think differently than we do! If we could just be willing to hear the message no matter what the messenger looks like…. The world would be a much different place.
Today… Being My True Self means standing tall in my truth… refusing to be put in a corner, because nobody puts Baby in the corner! It means knowing who I am at a soul level and not only not apologizing for that, but celebrating it and shouting it from the rooftops!!! I’m here and I’ve got a message to share!
Thank you, thank yo, thank you! To all who believe in me, who support me… to know that you see me… truly see me… for who I am, humbles me beyond words and brings me to tears, once again, as I think about it now!
In Light & Service, As Always