Existential Moment

Ever have that feeling that you aren’t in your body?? Like what is happening … is just happening around you, but doesn’t include you?

Yea… that’s how I’m feeling. I know there are some major energetic shifts and things happening in the universe… and this full moon on top of the already powerful astrological shifts … is just super powerful-er. It’s also daylight savings time and even though I’m tired-ish, I’m weirdly wide awake… Apparently I am a bundle of contradictions at the moment.

What do I do when that happens? I write, of course! Lol. I have been inwardly focused today. In the flow. Some great ideas are coming to me, but still don’t have a great way to get those ideas down on paper yet. They tend to just spin around in my head.

I know what I want to do, just not sure how to get there.

Things are on the move in my life… shifting and changing… not in the ways I thought I wanted them to go… In ways that in the past would have had me freaking out by now… but, I’m not. And I’m not attached to the outcomes; I’m letting go. Been watching my language a lot lately, making sure that I’m talking positively about everything that is happening. Synchronicities abound!

Amazing how easy it is to get caught up in gremlin thinking… thinking that there is something wrong with us and saying things to ourselves like “I’ve screwed everything up, done everything wrong.” And feeling like an utter failure as a result. I know this is not true of me. I am embracing that I do things differently than most. I love this about myself. However, when I look to the future…. I see all the things I’ve done in the past and all the ways I’ve chosen to do things… and all the silt on the bottom gets churned up and I’m in a whirlwind of gremlins again, fighting to keep my feet on the ground.

Why do I have to wait? Wait for someone else? I don’t, is the answer. yet…. I want to. I want to wait. I’m kind of tired doing it all by myself. I want to relax. I don’t want to have to worry any more. I want it to be easier, more simple. Once again… there is only one way that that is going to happen… and that is if I do it. Make some decisions and do it! Move on!

I think that’s the bottom line. The message. Today Being My True Self is about mindfully riding the ride of life, both going with the flow while also having an oar handy. There really is nothing to fear. Let go of the constrainsts that say you should have done it a certain way or should do it a certain way, and just do it your own way and move on!!

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I am on a journey .... By title I am a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor. I have been called friend, girlfriend, wife, mom... among other labels. But I am a loving, caring being that lives through these labels and titles to help and heal others while I am here.

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