Painful Process

Being My True Self isn’t painful… in and of itself. Actually, its quite the contrary. Being My True Self is effortless… its going with the flow of the universe… it feels Amazing! Figuring out who I am and what being me looks like… feels wonderful, like coming alive!!

However, the process of coming from a place of inauthenticity to a place of authenticity and being true to my self… That process can be painful.

I lived for so long in a place… that just simply wasn’t me. And it became comfortable…  and… sometimes it was easy .. and to think about changing was scary. Because it was all I had ever known. Not to mention the fact that the people in my life got used to me that way and were… and are… resistant … and in some cases, very resistant, to me changing.. Even though that change was and is a good thing.

So, figuring out how to be me and Being My True Self, feels all kinds of good!

But… it makes bumping into those old limitations and those old ways of being … Even more painful. Actually, that is probably the painful part. … The painful part is recognizing the difference, experiencing the difference between being authentic and not being authentic. Because when you know what it feels like to be truly who you are, to be anything but that HURTS! Doesn’t feel good at all.

I’ve figured that out this week. Or rather…  I should say I have experienced that this week.  I got caught up into an old pattern of thinking, one of obligation, that has not served me in the past, … it was something I was very used to. Something I was taught … something I had gotten comfortable with … but at the same time, it was something I always bumped into. Something that always did cause pain in my day to day life. Well, I bumped into it in a head on collision this week.

But I see it now … more clearly than ever before. Forward progress that I am always striving for!! I can see it for what it is… And that feels good, even though the process was and is painful.

Ok… the lesson is painful, but I am going to move forward and continue being who I know I am, continue Being My True Self! And share that with anyone that wants to listen.

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I am on a journey .... By title I am a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor. I have been called friend, girlfriend, wife, mom... among other labels. But I am a loving, caring being that lives through these labels and titles to help and heal others while I am here.

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